A Blessing & A Lesson

Pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster.

We found out we were pregnant exactly 3 weeks after the townhouse caught on fire and were still trying to figure out how to navigate getting the house repaired, recovering the items that survived the fire, and where we were going to live until the repairs were done. In discussions with insurance companies and contractors it was quickly becoming evident that we were not going to be able to move back into the home for at least a year.

It was also not in our plans to start a family any time soon. Besides recovering from the trauma of the fire, both of us were in the middle of building businesses and discussing places we wanted to travel and explore. The goal was to also be married before we even considered having kids. But, obviously we were not taking the proper precautions to avoid getting us here and there were plenty of signs telling us to rethink our actions.

A few months prior to the fire, a young woman that managed the volunteer scheduling at the church we attended asked if I would go to lunch with her. I thought this may be good since I had recently started volunteering as a prayer counselor which was far outside of my comfort zone. Building a relationship with her (also outside of my comfort zone) may be part of what God had planned for me in this chapter. However, this lunch was not as I was hoping it would be. She shared that she found out my boyfriend and I lived together. Because of this, I would no longer be able to volunteer as a prayer counselor as long as we lived in the same home outside of wedlock.

At first I was angry. It had taken me a long time to even think about becoming a member of a church and she had originally encouraged me to be a prayer counselor, but now was stripping this from me after I had become excited for this new role. After a few days, my boyfriend and I started to talk about why we may do what we do and is this what is best for our relationship. We did a few Bible plans and talked about what things would look like if we decided to be abstinent until marriage. As we know, this only lasted a few weeks. While this was on my mind, I knew we both were committed to each other and I believed we were always going to be together so, maybe I was thinking too much into it.

During this time many other people would ask what our plans were for a future and ask when I wanted to be a mom. I would brush it off saying I wasn’t trying to be a mom for at least another 3 to 4 years. Lesson number one here is when God is dropping hints around you, LISTEN.  He isn’t playing with you. And this was the biggest lesson He ever gave me.

After learning the news my boyfriend and I went back and forth on whether or not to keep the baby. A discussion I never thought I would have to have. In the end, I knew that there was no way I could go through with an abortion and live with myself. For some reason God had blessed me with this opportunity to be a mother and He was going to ensure that our little family was covered.

And He has followed through. Despite the many arguments about the baby ruining our lives, the tremendous guilt I felt for getting pregnant outside of marriage, the back pain, the pelvic pain, the insomnia, and the constant need to pee, I have had a very healthy pregnancy.  Gained the right amount of weight, no gestational diabetes, no preeclampsia, no morning sickness, and the baby has been hitting every milestone with no concerns. Despite the arguments, I have seen growth in both my boyfriend and I personally as well as in our relationship. God even ensured we were back home before the due date.

Knowing all of this I also have been reflecting on the positives that this next chapter has. As you will soon see in my book, there have been many times were I have gone back and forth bringing things that are not the best for me from my past into my present. The sermon at church this past Sunday really helped me reflect on this. While building my relationship with God and growing this business He has given me the ideas for, I was also not doing everything to follow His word. And maybe this baby is the push that my boyfriend and I both needed to be more aware of our actions and also launch us into a successful chapter in our lives. Even with an additional responsibility.

Now as I sit here and await to go into labor, I am reminding myself to keep a close relationship with God through my Bible readings (reading out loud so the baby can receive the message as well), be patient with this next chapter He has planned for me, and to listen next time He provides me warnings.

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19

 Better days are still ahead, despite the added responsibilities that are to come with them.

What warnings has God given you lately and how have you received them?